It’s very frustrating for the person who wants to resolve the issue right then to not be able to communicate because their beloved is unable or unwilling to sit down and discuss it. Sometimes when this situation occurs, the person who wants to continue talking will follow the silent one around and continue to speak as if speaking to the silent one will get him or her to open up.

This behavior can often turn a misunderstanding into a full blown argument. “Why don’t you talk to me? You never talk to me!” Tempers can flare and then there is real disconnection between two people and more hurt feelings.So, why does your partner go silent when they’re upset? First and most important, your beloved is not doing this to make you mad. Your special one is doing what he or she knows how to do to take care of hurt feelings. Shutting down is probably a long standing habit your loved one began long before he or she met you.

So understand that when he or she can’t talk to you because they are upset, it’s not about what you said or didn’t say. It’s just that they don’t have the tools to tell you what is wrong.

Learning to speak your feelings when there is an upset is sometimes a lifelong journey to achieve. It’s hard! Think about your own behaviors. What do you do when you get your feelings hurt? Maybe you yell or tell someone what happened to you. This is probably something you have done all your life. Sometimes it works, but I imagine with your silent partner it does not